...Since this post. It kinda blows my mind how fast time really has gone. But at the same time it scares me how fast time has gone and still life is pretty much the same. Nothing really new. Still only two and minimal progress.
I posted this scene from UP because this is kinda what life is like right now; minus we're not old people and thankfully no one has/had died, and man, it would be awesome to have our own business working together. haha! But this scene shows exactly the love that is between Chris and I. We have our challenges and goals but yet I like to think we're trying to enjoy the journey. Yes, it's still difficult to not know what the future will bring. Yes it's difficult to go on facebook and see that yet another person is pregnant or someone who was married the same time as you or even after are having their first child or even second. Yes, I still have difficult days where I have no motivation to do anything and just seem to cry because I feel bad for myself, which is so pathetic.
However, I think of my life and how I am one of the most blessed people on this earth. Seriously, I have an absolutely excellent husband who I am over the moon about. He always makes sure to check in with me to make sure he's doing his job and supporting me. Chris is the kind of husband that I don't have to ask to do things... he just does them, like laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen, you name it! How blessed I am to know that when that day does come that we have children I know he'll support me 100%. Even though our weeks are busy and he's gone on Tuesday and Thursday nights with his calling for church and even though I sit "by myself" (not really because I always sit with other people) during most church things and even though it's really really hard to support him when he has to leave me alone at home, I know that this is the Lord helping, teaching, and preparing us for something. What that something is, I have no idea. But it's teaching me to support and love my husband no matter what. It's teaching me to counsel, console, and have compassion on my husband. That's something I will never regret learning.
So what... I am at a transition period in my life and have no idea what I want to do. I work at a job making the least amount I have in my life and doing way more then I ever have done in a job and yet I have a college degree. I have bounced from wanting to go back to school to be a museum curator, to a college professor, to now currently law school (crazy I know, especially law school, why do I want to hurt myself with that kinda schooling). But it's so hard to make a decision because I don't know when my #1 desire will happen. It's just hard to, well, be doing nothing with my life.
But I know the Lord is watching over me and knows my needs. Why? Because He called me to be in Young Women. In less than four years I have been in Primary, Relief Society, back to Primary in the Nursery, and now Young Women. Each of those calls have come at a different learning and growing time in my life. Now, I am up at the church on Tuesday nights with Chris and don't have to be alone at home. The Lord knew that I was in search of something to fill my time and life with, especially since I'm done with school. My Heavenly Father knows me and knows my needs.
A lot has changed since that post last February. I am not running as much as I use to. I only do 30 minutes of cardio and than weight lifting. I have new fitness goals in mind to keep me motivated (I want to squat my body weight... which I am 10lbs or so away). Chris and I are also eating a lot differently. We eat meat hardly ever. Chris will have pepperoni on his pizza and whenever we go out to eat he usually eats meat. The majority of the time I opt for no meat at all but will be willing to still eat chicken and turkey if only offered. We don't like classifying ourselves as vegetarian or vegan, because we're really neither. We just like to eat what we think is keeping us healthy and makes us feel good. We both have felt a difference and we feel great. Our (mostly mine) eating habits embarresses me and I don't know why, so I'm sorry if you have asked me and I tired to shrug it off and change the subject. But we both have thus far liked this new arrangement.
All I know and have learned is that life is a journey and a time to be happy. Not sad, not depressed, not selfpittiful, but joyous, happy, and uplifting.
So this is what Chris and I are going to do... continue to walk hand in hand during this life on earth.
With lots of kissing. And apparently old gum on my shoe. =)