My heart as been heavy and flying lately. I have been enjoying my last semester of school even though I feel like I don't have enough time in the week to do the amount of reading and researching I really need to do. I like my new job and learning a lot, even though the past two Mondays I have cried my eyes out in the morning because I have to much to do for school. I love love love that my friends are becoming new mothers and seeing them slip into their true role in this life, even though I seem to be crying a lot lately about that too. I feel so blessed that Chris has a job, even though it's part-time, but it really really stinks not having health insurance when all you want to do is go to the doctor. I'm excited about my training for my first half marathon, which was suppose to be last year but I got runner's knee. It's at the end of this month but I can already feel my body breaking down so it can't come slow enough.
Even though I'm experiencing a little opposition right now I can't help but think of all the wonderful things going on in my life. I'm not going to lie, I have the best husband FOR ME. I was thinking about this awhile ago, there are so many wonderful husbands and men out there but there is only one for me and that's Chris. He truly is a blessing in my life. Since I work and go to school he has really taken on the role of house husband. He cleans the house all by himself, does the laundry and folds it all by himself, mows the lawn, fixes things, and even makes dinner. Just knowing those things are getting done is just a help to me.
Serving as a temple ordinance worker is another blessing. I just love the feeling of being in the temple and being able to serve those who make the sacrifice to come to the temple is so awesome. I'm excited for next week because on Friday we're doing the evening shift and then on Saturday we're doing our regular afternoon shift so it's going to be just two full days of awesomeness.
I have also noticed a lot lately at how much the Lord really loves His daughters. I just seeing examples in the Temple, through visiting teaching, the Relief Society Broadcast...there is so much love in all these examples from our Heavenly Father. I know the Savior understands and knows my troubles and it's such a blessing to know that if I just put my trust in Him I can do anything. He knows my worries and how I stress so easily, so He knows best when my turn will come to become what I really want to become.
Sorry for the rant-a-blog. I just have nothing else going on that can be remotely interesting. But to end on a good note... I'm so excited for this show to start up again...
Dean-ya later!
I'm so glad that school is almost over for you. I know it's stressful, but I know you can totally do it! Also, you are always so good at seeing the blessings whenever you have trials, and that is such a good quality to possess. You are in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your frustration with life's timeline. When you are working through it and things are not going as you expect, it is hard to not have those bad (emotionally cannot handle it) days. You have your own timeline and it will not match anyone else's. As uncomforting as that may seem because you just want to be normal, you have your own normal. Know that your Heavenly Father has a plan for you that he has worked on all of your life and even before. You may see the results of that only years after the trials. I guess we just have to hold on to the good times and the great things that are happening for each of us and await some things and make some others happen. (it is the awaiting that is hardest for me - I like to be in control).
ReplyDeletei'm sorry your heart is heavy! very well spoken, i know how you feel! there's a light at the end of the tunnel though, you'll be graduated and wishing you were still a student before you know it :) and ditto to tanya saying you're good at seeing the silver lining! you are so positive always! such a good quality! hang in there!
ReplyDeleteKendal! I am so sorry you have a heavy heart right now. It is amazing how crazy and sometimes disappointing life can be sometimes and at the same time, amazing and blessed. THe lord truly knows our deepest wants and desires and I know that for a fact. It is hard to not compare ourselves to others, it's a natural thing to do, but also remember that The Lord knows what is good for us at the right time. The trials I went through this past year have been so painful sometimes that it turned me into someone I didn't want to be. I was resentful towards others and their blessings in life. Stay close to The Lord and plead with him for an understanding. That's all we can do at times is to just understand. Love you. Hang in there.
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